In college I was standing next to a male student, he was nervously shifting his weight, “can I ask you a personal question?”, he asked cautiously. His expression seemed embarrassed and I was perhaps too curious about what he needed to ask… yes, I realized he could be asking me a really personal question.. but surely I didn’t have to answer. “Sure” was my reply and he slowly leaned in and asked quietly “how to you get grass stains out of pants?”.
That was his personal question? Really.
Was laundry in his house a dirty little.. umm.. little secret? Clearly he was embarrassed that he didn’t know how to do his own laundry. This taught me two things: 1) Boys smell not because they lack interest in hygiene but because they don’t know how.
2) When I am a parent, I am going to teach my son.
My husband, the man that God has blessed me with, is clearly smarter than I am. He married me. Actually, he is smarter than me because he can do mysterious things like math. I was also impressed in meeting him that he did in fact have clean clothes being hundreds of miles from his mommy and when I rode in his car it was clean… I was smitten by these and a few other things. He was the perfect man; smart, handsome, had unquestionably good character, and he knew how to do his own laundry. He was capable. I didn’t need to train him. He came ready for life, commitment and was highly kissable (my opinion).
This moment in the picture above is my hubby helping our ten your old son Nathaniel learn how to put on his tie. It’s a simple moment. It’s a perfect moment. Our son wore his tie proudly because he did it himself and even wore his dad’s Army tie tack. He thought some might wonder if he himself was actually a veteran.
I hope to raise a son who knows how to get out his own grass stains, cook a meal, teach his son how to tie a tie, is man enough to brush his daughter’s hair, love God and respects women.
We recently had two young male guests staying in our home. One of them left porn up on the family computer.
This is against our house rules. Could it be my fault for not making such house rules clear!? Is this something I should need to clarify?
Perhaps his parents have not taught him. We are teaching our children about sex. My husband and I believe that sex is about respect, love and to make marriage a ton of fun. When I see a movie and the hero and heroine fall into bed and misplace their clothes, I feel cheated. Really, that’s love? I want my money back. That is not a romance. I am old fashioned– Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, that is a romantic story that has had countless women swooning for their own Mr. Darcy ever since. Now images sexualizing both genders are far too easy to find and we are bombarded by it in advertising, literature, internet, the list goes on… what are we teaching our children?
To me romance and love is my husband helping our son learn how to be a man, not how to use women. Teaching our daughter what it feels like to have a man respect her not just want to desire her. Romance is taking my hand as we walk, not walking off with another woman. Love is not perfect bodies together, love is not noticing my imperfect “love” placed around my middle. Love is going to work each day. Love is working on us. Love is kneeling in prayer, love is respecting me. Love is not misplaced clothes, love is folding the laundry with me. Love is letting the dirt wash away and doing dishes. Love is so much more than groans of desire and sweaty images. Love is building a life together it may not seem exciting the life Mr. Greene and I have built but we work hard, we laugh a lot, we have quiet pleasures in our lives, we like our life, we love each other. We are teaching our children that love is bigger than what you may see with your eyes, it is what you feel with your heart and what you choose. Love is bigger than our own gratification; our love has created a life, a home and is teaching our children it is worth working for.